Paul's Christmas Tragedy (a poem)

Paul's Christmas Tragedy

By "Kate Wynstelle"

Listen, my children, and you shall hear

Of the midnight ride of 8 reindeer.

In the month of December (25)

A fat, old man gets in to drive.

In a sleigh all filled with boats and toys

(Enough for all the girls and boys)

This fat, old man-all dressed in red-

Sets a white cap on his head.

He picks up reins, and waves good-bye

To all his elves,  and Miss Sweetie-pie.

Then he calls out his same old call

“Go Dasher, Go Dancer, get up with you all!

Prancer and Vixen don’t think of stopping.

Comet and Cupid! What are you dropping?!

Donner and Blitzen, keep going strong,

We’re gonna be flying all the night long.”

The deer all sigh as they pass the moon

The fat man and presents made burdens not boons.

Each one of them wanted their own Christmas present.

They thought that a carrot would surely be pleasant

That’s all they thought of at their 1^st stop

In London, on one of those brick-red roof-tops.

They considered the orang-ness of carrots supreme

As they left 15 presents for the small Dutch Queen.

In Egypt they wondered how carrots would grow.

They also were baffled at the lack of snow.

As they doubled the Cape they ran into a storm.

But that was alright, that was the norm.

As Russians ran out to receive all their favors

The ung’lates thought only of delicious flavors

They thought of them all the down to Nepal,

Where they nearly hit a big mountain called Saul.

The orange trees that grew all over Japan

Made the reindeer go dizzy, their heads really swam.

All over the ocean the reindeer were hungry.

All over the water their tummies were grumbly.

They thought that they were all going to die 

From the hunger they felt as they passed through  Lehi

At old Honduras, where they had ceased

They thought they‘d give up and just "Rest In Peace".

But no, they first must visit Brazil

Then over to Scotland for the last unfill.

They wearily flew back up to the North

They could barely keep their hooves moving forth.

But they finally made it, although thy had doubted

Into the fine house the fat, old man shouted,

“Hey, dear, we’re back! And, boy, what a ride!

I landed smack dab on each roof that I spied.

Each house that we went to had cookies galore!

I ate and unloaded, which was no great chore.

There was something funny, I must confess,

On each of the plates was some sort of orange mess.

Don’t know what it was, but I left it down there,

And whisked up the chimney with soot in my hair.”

The reindeer all heard this, and sighed a great sigh.

“Looks like grass again boys.”  But then the deer died.